I kid you not

Only my  Mother would have some of the craziest shit come out of her mouth.

This past weekend, my Mom and Sister drove a couple hours to meet my Nephew and his wife.  My sister was going to meet them to give them football tickets and have lunch and decided to take my Mom as well.  They planned on finishing up the afternoon shopping before heading back home.

Let me remind everyone that my Mom is 80 years old.

They all met at the Mall, ate some lunch and then did some shopping.  While getting on the escalator, my Mom mentioned for the hundreth time how much she hates those things.  Out of the blue and for no reason what so ever, she decides to blurt out, "My husband has been teasing me a lot lately.  Four times this past month I've accidently brushed my dentures with Vagisil."

Everyone was more horrified then anything, trying to hold back a smartassed comment.  Everyone pretty much lost it and couldn't stop laughing.  Mom continued to go on talking about how she just doesn't pay attention close enough and that both items come in a tube that look a like.  

My nephew's wife, still red faced and laughing, told him that she had something to ask my Mom but couldn't bring herself to do it.  She leaned over to tell him what it was.  He himself, couldn't even bring himself to ask, so at lunch he leans over to my Sister and told her to ask Mom the question.  My Sister, being like the rest of the family and not afraid to say anything to anyone, looks over at our Mom and says, "So, does your breath smell like Pussy now?"

My Mom starts giggling so hard that she claimed to pee a little.  If she's not doing that when giggling too much, she's passing gas.  

Once she composed herself, she leans forward and replies, "I don't know, you tell me!"

Only in my family.....